Everything I Crocheted & Knitted in 2023
DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL
The collection name is DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL. Different to my previous collection called Dreamland, I wanted to go for a dark world in contrast to the bright, happy fantasy world. Dreamland was a collection based on daydreaming, escapism, and fantasy. Dark Night of the Soul is based on a spiritual and psychological concept that is used to describe a painful, difficult, rock-bottom period in one's life. This can cause a spiritual depression of questioning your entire life. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything. An external event or a disaster can trigger a deep sense of meaninglessness. If Dreamland is the dreamy fantasy, Dark Night of the Soul is the nightmare reality. You can read more about the meaning of dark night of the soul here.
So, why this concept? As I previously mentioned, Dreamland was an escape from reality. I wanted to address this reality and sometimes, reality isn't all sunshine and rainbows. This struggle reflects how POCs relate to the reality of how the world treats us. As an Asian-American, my identity was a struggle growing into. So I wanted to reflect that in a three act design for this collection. Experiencing a dark night of the soul meant the life I built up and given meaning through my childhood upbringing, my hobbies/activities, my achievements, my values, principles, and morals clashed and collapsed through challenging systems of being both Asian and American. It was a tug of war of Eastern versus Western influence on my life and I had to play a balancing act.
ACT I: ANCESTRY
Ancestry means the origin of a family or ethnic's descent and that is the focus of this act. As I release each design for this collection through social media, I released a fashion history blog series starting from the pre-historic era to the modern era. ACT I covers pre-historic through ancient history when it comes to fashion history. When people think of fashion, they have a modern image of avant-garde, celebrities on red carpets, and questionable runway shows. That isn't the focus of this think piece. I wanted to dive and also teach myself the history of fashion. You can check out all the posts I've made for each historic era. However, do not take it as a legit source of academia. It's just my own blog summary I made for my own enjoyment.
GOOD FORTUNE
I started this collection on Lunar New Years with a designed named "GOOD FORTUNE". The idea behind Good Fortune was based on Chinese New Year's auspicious patterns. These patterns would have different symbols based on blessings, wealth and longevity. I wanted to start the collection on the idea of blessings and prosperity. At the core of human beliefs since ancient times is connection with divine energy to receive good fortune.
PORCELAIN
I followed up with another Chinese-inspired design called "PORCELAIN". This design drew inspiration from Chinese ceramics. I wanted to experiment through crochet using another art medium which is ceramics. Fiber arts can cross over and be inspired by other artistic mediums. It didn't matter whether I was the first to think of it or not, but it was a first for me. Since China is one of the oldest ancient civilization and part of my ancestry, I wanted to reference the culture in these designs.
WATER
The next four designs were inspired by the elements: water, earth, fire and air. Much like Avatar: the last Airbender, I wanted to focus on these 4 classical elements. The classical elements actually trace their roots to an ancient Greek philosopher. In the show Avatar: the last Airbender, I love the culture of each nation's clothing and wanted to make my own version of the elements loosely based on ancient cultures I researched. For WATER, the design was based on a tribal design using mosaic and granny square crochet techniques.
EARTH
For EARTH, it was based on a natural, earthy forest with trees and florals using mosaic stitch and granny (and hexagon) squares. I used floral granny squares and floral hexagons (a first for me) sewn to the mosaic stitch trees and leaf-like pattern. This design focuses on the jungle forest with colorful flowers.
FIRE
For FIRE, it was based on indigenous Mesoamerican tribal design referencing thunderbird. I used the sunburst granny square pattern and tapestry crochet stitch colorwork for the bird. I imagined Mesoamerica to be the element of fire since the land has desert and red sand. I also created sun granny squares and used colors that give off a flame appearance.
AIR
For AIR, it was based on the classical antiquity era (Greeco-Roman) design. It uses diamond granny squares and antiquity tile mosaic techniques. I wanted to challenge myself with incorporating crochet techniques I have not done before, specifically mosaic crochet. Showing the beauty of ancient cultural designs displayed the strong identity these ancient civilizations had even when they existed in isolation from one another. We are able to see through design the individual identities of each culture. This concludes ACT I: ANCESTRY.
LOVESHORE GARDEN
Welcome to my garden. I made this garden mini drop as an interlude before ACT II because there were extra items in my crochet inventory that I wanted to release to the shop. I finally got around to releasing my crochet floral bouquets. I made these floral bouquets in 2022 and decided to incorporate them into the 2023 collection. I've always wanted to crochet keychains so I decided to make it using fruits including exotic fruits. I finally got around to making crochet cactus pillows along with fruit slices and other amigurumi designs. I also wanted to create floral bucket hats so I opted for poppy flowers, daisy flowers, and sunflowers since the granny squares were easier to create along with the knit machine beanies. This garden theme was a nice transition from ACT I. The ancient world relied on the natural environment to cultivate a society.
ACT II: SHADOW WORK
“There is no light without shadow and no psychic wholeness without imperfection.”
Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung
Based on the quote above, one must not strive for perfection but rather wholeness of personality. If you've been chronically online on Tik Tok like me, you've probably saw a shadow work book that was being advertised so much on the For You feed ever since the start of Tik Tok shop. Like most people, I was annoyed seeing the same advertisements over and over. However, it also did sparked some interest. I already knew about shadow work but to see it condensed into a workshop book for the average consumer to work on deep psychological parts of themselves made it accessible. While I have not tried the book myself, I have tried dipping my toe in this concept.
Shadow work is working with your unconscious mind to uncover the parts of yourself that you repress and hide. This can include trauma or parts of your personality that you subconsciously repress. Anyone can do shadow work on their own accord. Shadow work sounds easy in theory, but can be painful to experience in practice. On an individual level, bringing light to shadow parts of ourselves will cause a chaotic experience.
To prep for ACT II, I covered the middle ages or post-classical era in fashion history in a series of blog posts. The middle ages are described as the dark ages for European history but for the rest of the post-classical world (roughly 500-1500s), there were expansive developments. A big theme that stuck out to me during this period of time was the rise of religious nations. This era was considered the "Age of Faith".
I chose shadow work for this act because I wanted to highlight the shadow side of turning to spirituality and religion to deal with life. While religion provided structure for nations to form, it also lead to many wars and conquest. While travel technology continued to increase making cross-cultural contact possible (merging the Old World and the New World), this introduced the dark side of human nature- the desire to conquer. Disease, war, and disaster resulted because of dark desire to expand empires. This begs to question: is this truly God's will?
COASTAL BABE, SUMMER NIGHTS, SUMMER KNITS
While spring/summer rolled around, I wanted to experiment with using my knitting machine to make knitwear for the summer and crochet lacey designs for summer. Usually my designs were for fall/winter since I use worsted weight yarn for most of my projects. But this time I wanted to create designs for summertime using DK and sport weight yarn. I experimented with lace shell designs and floral lace designs for COASTAL BABE and SUMMER NIGHTS. This was the start of the duality concept based on shadow work where I create "light vs. dark" in my designs.
BLOOM, SEASHORE, & SUMMER SKIES
I have not attempted lacey summer cardigans until this year so I used sport and DK weight yarn to create these three cardigan designs. These crochet lace cardigans were in reference to the designs inspired by Southeast Asian and island clothing. Since the terrains were tropical, clothing was lace and detailed. BLOOM is a floral lace granny square cardigan. SEASHORE is a shell lace stitch cardigan design. SUMMER SKIES is a simple hexagon cardigan using ombre yarn.
SAINT & SIREN
To end the summer designs, I've crocheted two dresses and experimented with making a knit dress on the knitting machine. The knit machine dress was a draft design that didn't make it to my official social media pages but I think it deserves some recognition. It was my first knit dress with crochet roses attached to it. I loved how stretchy it felt. For the crochet dresses, I followed my duality theme of creating a light feminine versus dark feminine design. SAINT is angelic, ethereal and light feminine. SIREN is edgy, venomous, dark feminine. Dreamland was about mermaids. This collection is about sirens.
LILAC DREAMS & VIOLET NIGHTMARE
The rest of the six designs for ACT II were fall cardigans still following the duality theme I got going on. It was fun to create an opposite design in this act because it was a challenge. I wanted to show the "shadow" side of each design starting with LILAC DREAMS and VIOLET NIGHTMARE.
This became a 2-in-1 crochet granny square pattern that teaches beginner crocheters how to make a basic granny square cardigan. I had to keep in mind that I have not created any new patterns yet for the year so I decided to start with these cardigans. You can get the pattern on my Etsy shop here and on my Ribblr shop here.
GOTHIC VAMPIRE & GLORY
The next dual cardigans are gothic-inspired designs called GOTHIC VAMPIRE and GLORY. I wanted to go for a gothic design since I've covered the middle ages in my blog and wanted to be on theme. I had to brainstorm a dark villain and vampire came to mind. I'm a huge fan of vampire media including movies like Twilight and Van Helsing. For GLORY, I originally wanted to name the sweater "ANGEL" since angels are opposite of vampires but I felt that was too on the nose. So I opted for glory to focus on this angelic, heavenly vibe instead.
The GOTHIC VAMPIRE cardigan became an advance level cardigan pattern that I've written based on the Victorian Lattice granny square. Both designs use the Victorian Lattice square pattern. You can get the pattern on my Etsy shop here and on my Ribblr shop here.
MEMENTO MORI & MEMENTO VIVRE
The finale for ACT II is highlighted in the duality of shadow work with MEMENTO MORI and MEMENTO VIVRE. MEMENTO MORI is latin for "remember you must die". I wanted to create a design using skulls and this latin phrase was the perfect opportunity to show it. This was a design I normally don't make that talked about mortality, death, and my attitude towards it. It was spooky season and these designs show the shadow side of my art.
Memento Vivre is latin for "remember you must live". I ended ACT II with MEMENTO VIVRE based on stained glass windows. Stained glass windows were a huge part of architectural designs for religions monuments. Faith and life are often tied to spiritual beliefs. I wanted to highlight through stained glass windows. I used a granny square technique that uses different color changes. These orthodox designs hinted at the religious influence of this time period. It was an artistic risk I took but surprisingly was received well. The girls that get it, get it.
I turned MEMENTO MORI into a crochet cardigan pattern design. You can get the pattern on my Etsy shop here and on my Ribblr shop here.
ACT III: MASTERPIECE
By the time I reached ACT III, it was the start of winter for the grand finale. The concept for ACT III is based on Magnum opus. In alchemy, Magnum opus in Latin means great work. Considering that this act is called masterpiece, that was the intention. The term often refers to literary, musical, or artistic productions, but it has been used to describe many kinds of great works, including games, construction projects, films, fashion, etc.
I released the final installment of my fashion history blog posts by covering the modern era (1500s-present era). The turning point of the modern world was the industrial boom in technology. Our world became globalized including globalizing culture. This gave rise to pop culture (popular culture) that is experienced on a global scale. For the first time, humans are having a similar experience at the same time. I originally have 40 draft designs. Logistically it was impossible to complete within 1-2 months so I had to cut down to about 9-12 designs.
MASTERPIECE to me is finally reaching the acceptance stage of seeing my work as full fledge art. For so long, crochet was boxed and limited as a craft and not a fiber art medium. I was chasing after perfection and pushed for new ways to perceive this medium. I kept thinking that if I continued to create, I will finally reach "the one". But I realized, I have artistic talent all along to create the artwork I envision without limitations. No longer is crochet art confined to traditions or rules. It transcended beyond borders to be experienced by everyone.
LOTUS
The lotus flower is a significant floral symbol of spirituality in my culture. I went with a simple granny square and granny stitches for the sleeve because I didn't want it overshadow the beauty of the lotus floral granny square that I freehanded. I chose a teal color as the color of water for this design.
DAISY
Continuing with the plant and floral theme, I had to create a daisy floral granny square cardigan. This design isn't new by any means. But I felt like people were anticipating this basic cardigan design as a pattern so I went ahead and wrote a pattern for it. You can get the pattern on my Etsy shop here and Ribblr shop here.
CROSSING
I like to create designs inspired by my other interests/hobbies and Animal Crossing is a game I often play. Hexagon cardigans were trending in the year so I finally got to make a simple one in the colors sage green and forest green. I added pockets with leaves appliqué on it to symbolize the Animal Crossing leaf.
LUNAR CAT
There are a number of anime I enjoyed watching growing up. Since anime were part of the modern era, I wanted to reference a classic anime that is a huge fan favorite: Sailor Moon. Originally I wanted to create a cat sweater and a celestial astronomy design. Since I was on a time crunch, I combined both ideas when I realized I can crochet Sailor Moon cats into a sweater. I designed a granny square sweater for the moon and cat pattern. You can get the pattern on my Etsy shop here and Ribblr shop here.
COQUETTE
Ballet-core and ribbons has been a trending aesthetic that took over Tik Tok all year. This design is a reference on the growing aesthetic names that is currently taking over the online community. As someone who was a former dancer, I wanted to express a nod to my previous hobbies. I glued ribbons and rose ribbon appliqués to this cardigan. I also turned this cardigan design into a pattern. You can get the pattern on my Etsy shop here and Ribblr shop here.
CANDY BAR
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is one of my favorite movies. There's so many analytical takes on the movie that I won't be writing an essay on here since this isn't film analysis. But to me, Wonka represented endless creativity when it came to chocolate and the fantasy of an endless childhood. So I created a simple granny square grid cardigan design meant to look like a chocolate bar. I also turned it into a beginner-level crochet pattern. You can get the pattern on my Etsy shop here and on my Ribblr here.
BARBIE UNIVERSITY
Summer 2023 was a huge year for Barbie. Barbie was girlhood. There's plenty of film analysis on the cultural significance of Barbie online that I don't need to write a film essay on. For this design, I wanted to experiment with knitting a preppy tartan plaid cardigan. Since I crocheted a tartan plaid cardigan, I wanted to spark a discussion of crochet and knit in the same design. There has been a comparison between knit and crochet for a while. Much like the different Barbies in the movie, crochet and knit are like different Barbies to me. I chose a university preppy look for this design in reference to universities being a major symbol of the modern world.
CLASSIC CABLE
As my designs continue to come out, I wanted to show the journey of being part of a collective mindset with fashion to individual personal style. Throughout history, there would be trends that dictate what society is wearing. I've noticed as we enter the modern age, there are still trends. However, personal individual style started to represent an expression against societal norms. I wanted to end the collection with the idea after that learning about everything with fashion history, I've found my own personal expression. Personally, I love tweed yarn. I went with a classic cable crochet design and let the yarn shine through the design. This hints that future designs will be my personal style.
CHUNKY KNIT
This is my first chunky knit cardigan using Lion Brand's Hometown yarn. I wanted to make a simple chunky knit cardigan. In order for me to learn to create any cardigan design, I had to dive right into making the design and not just sketch the idea pattern on paper. This got me to overcome my procrastination with knitting. I knew knitting took longer than crochet so I was hesitant to start knitting. In the knit community, people often are knitting for their own wardrobe and sell patterns. In the crochet community, people are often crocheting to sell products and patterns. I had to change the way I approach fiber arts. I realized, I haven't gotten to make my own wardrobe. So I wanted to end the collection on a note that I want to create for myself and not just for the world.
Conclusion
This was my largest collection that span the entire year and I'm so happy I pulled it off! This was challenging yet rewarding because not only I released so many designs, I was able to pull off a concept/theme to completion. This collection, like my previous one, is part of my artistic evolution. I can create just solely for creating. I don't need external validation, rules, or limitations to tell me what my art should be. Crochet healed my artistic block in many ways and this collection healed my dark night of the soul as well.
There's a neat way to interpret this collection. If you view the designs from ACT I-III, you will see ancient designs getting more modern. This accompanied with the blog series will show you history in chronological order. On a personal level, this expresses growing up with traditional upbringing rooted since ancient times and having that change with the modern world. If you view ACT III-I (backwards), you will see modern designs getting older and ancient. This is to symbolize having modern, Westernized upbringing but getting in touch with your roots/heritage that existed since ancient times. This is the identity journey of an Asian-American. Being born in a Western world but having to be in touch with our ancient Eastern roots. The reverse is growing up with an Asian upbringing and experiencing Westernization. This is our duality.
There's a unique perspective being born Asian-American diaspora. It's the fact that we didn't grow up in a homogenous country where everyone looked like us, talk like us, and act like us. We had to adjust quickly to a diverse pool of other cultures with different values. We also have to face the fact that the world is unfair to us and that we don't have advantages because of our skin color. But that diversity brings us wisdom, compassion and empathy for those that are different than us. I don't want to live in a world of clones where everyone acts the same, thinks the same, or looks the same. Coexisting with our differences is no easy task either. This is a discussion that needs to be had.
This struggle ties into dark night of the soul. While reality of the world is dark, everything evil and racist that is taught must be unlearned. Once I realized there's power in deciding who I am and what I want to do in life with my life, I set myself free from limiting expectations that don't serve my true life's purpose. Before society promotes the message of "Be Yourself", we need to take a deep dive into who we are. Are we the trends and products that is being sold for us to consume? What are our values and principles?
Lastly, I usually make a creative playlist that loosely tells an audio story. Experiencing our rock-bottom moments in life can come in the form of many things: trauma, toxicity in a relationship, disasters, health issues, loss/grief, facing our darkness, etc. I made this playlist like a filmmaker telling a story. I wanted this audio story to talk about the pride and ego that comes from starting a toxic relationship (feeling like the bad b*tch) to the interlude of questioning our desires in life. These songs are experiences of betrayal, trauma, hurt, anger, hate, disgust, and all those dark painful things that make us human. The story ends with turning to spirituality and finding light at the end of the dark tunnel. Those emotions and feelings can be experienced through a carefully curated Spotify playlist I have below. Enjoy. That wraps up Dark Night of the Soul.
